Director: Andy and Lana Wachowskis
Cast: Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth, Tuppence Middleton, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Christina Cole, Nicolas A. Newman, Ramon Tikaram, Ariyon Bakare, Marie Doyle Kennedy
Rating: C-
Jupiter Ascending is a visual stunner with its colorful ornate futuristic cities, star ships soaring through the galaxies, and amazing aerial chases and battle scenes. This sci-fi thriller is set against the storyline of a family fighting over rights to the most valuable planet in the universe – Earth. Will the combination of special effects, a political drama, and a love story be enough to create a science fiction masterpiece, or will this production wind up descending into the abyss of forgettable films in 2015?
Juptier Jones (Mila Kunis) is a Russian-American girl forced to work in her family’s housecleaning business. She spends her days cleaning toilets and secretly trying on jewelry and clothes of her wealthy patrons while she wishes for a better life. Jupiter is about to discover that she is the exact genetic duplicate of a queen belonging to an alien royal family which makes her heir to the planet earth. Balern (Eddie Redmayne), Titus (Douglas Booth), and Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) Abrassax, ruling siblings rivaling over control of the galaxy, are in a race to kidnap Jupiter, bring her back to their home planet and gain control of her inheritance. Balern sends his assassins to Chicago to kill Jupiter thus solving his problem of anyone else getting what he thinks is rightfully his. That is when Caine Wise (Channing Tatum), a former military hunter who is a genetic hybrid of wolf and human, swoops in to save the day. Caine, who apparently once had wings that got clipped from some former infraction, takes it upon himself to recuse her highness, get her back to his home planet, educate on her on ancestry, and appoints himself her protector.
Jupiter is now on a path to learn about her destiny and the beginning of humanity. Apparently the advance race on a planet far, far, away has been harnessing humans on earth to create a sparkling white serum that gives everlasting life and youth to the elite inhabitants of Jupiter’s home planet. Much to Jupiter’s horror, at least a 100 people must die to create just one bottle of the magic potion. The unwilling queen gets thrust into an intergalactic family feud over land. Stinger Apini (Sean Bean), a warrior spliced with Bee DNA, comes to Caine and Jupiter’s aid when they face the brutal royal family.
The story starts off with a narrative from Jupiter about her life, and for the first 20 minutes of the movie everything makes perfect sense. Sadly, once the action takes off the script becomes very hard to understand. Halfway through the movie, convoluted explanations of what is going on attempt to explain away why everything is happening, but it feels more like a jumble of crazy far-fetched facts. Jupiter Ascending is infested with species from all sorts of worlds and it doesn’t really make sense what all those creatures are doing in the film. All those strange faces just wind up being very distracting. It is also never made clear where allegiances lie. Kalique appears long enough in the film to rescue Jupiter and take a bath in glowing serum water, and then disappears for the remainder of the film. We never know for sure which side of the fence the countess from the universe is on. Stinger seems determined to kill Caine when he first appears on screen, then he befriends him, then he betrays him, and then he sides with him again. It gets very confusing trying to figure out if Stinger is a good guy or a bad guy and then –poof – he also disappears from film.
Caine gets to show off amazing jet-propelled boots that send him zipping through the air at lightning speed. One of the best parts of the movie is a spectacular chase scene through the air all around Chicago with Jupiter hanging onto Caine as he whips around and through buildings trying to escape the clutches of bounty hunters. This nail biting scene makes us hopeful that Jupiter Ascending will keep us on the edge of our seats for the remainder of the film. Spaceships crashing through asteroid belts and suddenly appearing through clouds of gas also make for some more wonderful visual effects. The cities across the galaxy are beautiful, but the one issue with this part of the movie is that the CGI effects are glaring. A smart moviegoer will totally be able to tell where the actors are separated from the green screen. What could have given the film a very polished look comes across amateurish when it is so obvious that a green screen is being used. Perhaps if the movie had not been done in 3D this problem could have been avoided.
Kunis barley musters any emotion when she discovers a new alien species, advanced technology, and space travel. She comes across very weak in her role as the unwilling monarch and is totally unconvincing, not to mention that she is constantly needing saving. Weather she is being forced to relinquish her inheritance or enter into an unwanted marriage, Kunis often looks more like a deer in headlights then a potential leader.
Channing is the love interest and the romantic dialogue is so cheesy that the only thing it succeeds in doing is making the audience crack up at what should have tender, touchy, feely moments. Surprisingly, Tatum does a pretty good job as the fearless warrior on a mission to save his damsel in distress. The hunky actor sheds a few masculine tears that actually evoke concern for the noble hero. Bean, who many know from his role on HBO’s Game of Thrones, is great as the rough, tough, and brawny fighter. The full potential of a fine actor like Bean is not at all utilized and it would have been great to see more character development for his role. Then we have Oscar-nominated actor Eddie Redmayne playing the role of the corrupt and ambitious Balern. One minute he is talking in husky whispers that sound like a bad Romanian accent, and then he explodes into a screaming tirade. Redmayne’s performance is horrifically awful and one can only wonder what the hell was he or the filmmakers thinking to portray his character that way.
Despite the special effects, the mind-blowing action sequences, and the fantastic musical score, Jupiter Ascending is not a very good film. It is two hours of characters fighting over land and Jupiter constantly having to be rescued by Caine. The dialog is long, stretched out and boring. The story for most of the film is a mish-mash of facts that you have to string together to make any sense of the film. By its end, Jupiter Ascending becomes very repetitive instead of reaching a final climax. This is one of those films where you just have to leave your brain at the door so you don’t clutter it with the memory of one of the worst sci-fi films made by The Wachowskis. It is so unfortunate that filmmakers known for the classic movie The Matrix will now be known for this messy science fiction flop at the box office.
