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Review by Casey C. Corpier

You want to know what is interesting?  Looking at the new trends that are going on in movies right now, and when some of those are combined we get Piranha 3D.

Now the trends that I am talking about are obviously 3D movies that are all being released now, but also the remakes of horror flicks in general. I don’t just mean remakes but so-called remakes. These “Remakes” are remakes in name alone.

Referring to the fact that it uses the title of a previously established film or franchise, and releasing a completely different movie, but you keep a couple of shots or a remembered kill from it’s predecessor.

Some of these flicks such as Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Friday the 13th I feel play more like sequels than remakes. And then there are the relaunches or reboots like Halloween, Batman Begins, or the 007 Franchises, but these are mostly just annoying. Movies like Sorority Row, Black Christmas, or Prom Night all have the same name of a “Classic” but the story is not the same movie.

Now on to the flick in question.

First off a little history lesson. In 1978 Joe Dante directed a Roger Corman produced flick called Piranha. The story goes like this – a couple of hikers come across an Army test site and swim in a pool that is infested with man-eating Piranha that the military had genetically altered to swim up stream in Vietnam. The project was called “Operation Razor Teeth.” Bradford Dillman and Heather Menzies come looking for the hikers and drain the pond into a nearby river setting the Piranha free to chow down on local campers and a just-opened resort that has a lot of partying swimmers in a very memorable flick.

Piranha spawned a sequel that was titled (no pun intended) Piranha 2: The Spawning, which was directed by none other then James Cameron in his first directing venture. This one did not do well at the box office. In 1995 Piranha was remade starring William Katt and Alexandra Paul… which also did not do too well.

Which brings us to Piranha 3D.

Now everyone calls this flick a remake but it is that in name alone. The plot here is a earthquake happens in Lake Victoria, Arizona on Spring Break when Co-Eds and College party kids come to frolic. The quake releases over 1,000 of a species of Piranha that has been believed extinct for over 2 Million years, and they are hungry and very angry.

The flick primarily follows the local Sheriff played by Elizabeth Shue who is investigating the strange events that are happening in the lake. While this is happening her son goes on a boat with Kelly Brook and Jerry O,Connell to shoot a porn movie, and… well you can kind of figure out what else happens.

This is a good beer drinking flick for those of us that don’t really want to watch a movie that requires a lot of thought. The humor is more parody of spring break that turns into a Bloodbath. I liked that actually. If you are looking for that sort of thing you will enjoy this. For those of you looking for something more sophisticated, pass on it. Once again the 3D is a gimmick the flick utilizes, but is not totally necessary.

48 Dead Bodies
11 Breasts
1,000 CGI Piranha
2 Boat Chases
1 Explosion
Head Crushing
Face munching
Bikini Babe Slicing
200 Gallons of Blood
Naked Synchronized Swimming
Topless Para-sailing
Penis Munching
Jerry O’Connell Fu
Piranha Fu
Opening with Richard Dreyfuss Fu (I wonder what movie that is a reference to)

2 ½ Stars

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