It’s hard to believe the last SCARY MOVIE was released six years ago. I guess Hollywood thought people were getting depressed at the lack of more installments. As Marlon Wayans’ A HAUNTED HOUSE is about to open, effectively parodying the PARANOMAL ACTIVITY franchise, Dimension has deemed this an appropriate time to unleash their first teaser trailer for SCARY MOVIE 5. Series stars Anna Faris and Regina Hall are nowhere to be seen (probably smart on their part), but Simon Rex is back, joined by Ashley Tisdale (THE SUITE LIFE OF ZACK AND CODY), Jerry O’Connell, Katt Williams, Kate Walsh, Terry Crews, Mike Tyson (yes, Mike Tyson), Jasmine Guy, Audrina Patridge and Kendra Wilkinson… is this a movie or a TMZ episode? Oh, and of course the big selling points are appearances by Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan, doing their best to make jokes at their own expense. I realized a long time ago I’m not the target audience for these flicks, but it never ceases to amaze me how successful they are. That said, A HAUNTED HOUSE is surprisingly funny and inspired, so if you only see one of these types of movies in 2013, go with that one.
Snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed French dance company director Pierre is putting on a new production. Jody, a Caucasian late-20s mother of two and her late-20s African American friend Kendra are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skilled mid-30s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry, gets cut from the production and goes berserk.